


Mentalité

by K_Borealis



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst and Drama, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kim Jongin | Kai-centric, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_Borealis/pseuds/K_Borealis
Summary: People pay for what they have done and for what they have transformed in. And they pay it in a simple way: with the life they end up living in — Edith Wharton.Second part of "Infidélité"
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Kudos: 2





	Mentalité

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE READ IT PLEASE
> 
> if you haven't read Infidélité (in my profile) you'll be very lost here.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of murder/suicide

The day he met Kim Jennie, everything changed.

She was...hot, her personality was the opposite of KyungSoo, and he loved it.

He got so obsessed with the thought of having her that his mind became deranged, getting to the point of wanting to get rid of Soo so he could have her.

He was so lost in the desire caused by her that he never thought of the consequences that she came with.

One of those countless nights that they went out, she suggested something interesting.

—You can’t get him out of your life? Silly, give him reasons and he´ll do it.—

That’s how he started to mess everything up.

The first time that he slapped him that morning was mere impulse but...he liked it. 

Had he gone crazy?

Yes. 

Day by day, for any reason, he beated him, staining himself with a pretty red colour that came from the blood of Soo’s body.

He always made an effort of leaving him unconscious, half-dead, his strength was about to become non human.

That wasn't him, that was another being inside his body.

One night in which he was observing his unconscious husband, he realized that he was crying, he cleaned his own tears while asking to his insides the reason on why was he acting the way he did.

He cursed at the love, strength and stupidity of KyungSoo, why was he still in a place where he only suffered?

He wanted to kick him out, but he had no strong reasons to do it.

He gave him opportunities, he started arriving home late, he stopped calling him, he even faked leaving the country.

But even after that, KyungSoo was still there.

However, when he arrived home and saw him trying to escape something broke inside him, he wanted the house empty, Jennie was outside waiting for him.

He can’t remember what he did after that.

His eyes fogged up, his body was controlling itself and doing actions without him being totally conscious.

He could hear him scream, complain and beg, but over all, he could hear a gunshot that brought him back to reality.

His husband’s body on the ground, Jennie in her car with a gun on hand, and himself in a state of shock.

It didn’t had to end like this,

He walked carefully to reach Soo, he sat on the ground, took one of his hands and bursted in tears.

He hadn’t taken off his marriage ring.

For wanting to have another person, it cost everything he really loved.

Because you never know how much you love someone until you lose them.

His face still held a little warmth even though it was a cold night and he was wearing light clothes due to the rush of wanting to escape his hell.

JongIn didn’t have the courage to look at him at the eyes, guilt filled him all the way to his soul.

The last bits of life that his husband had gone away in his arms, his heart and speech were paralyzed.

—Darling, what are you waiting for? We have to hide the body before some neighbour of yours calls the police.— She said with a calm tone, as if the murder she just made had meant nothing.

Rage travelled through Jongin’s veins.

—How can you be so calm? You killed my husband, don’t you feel a bit of regret?—

—Should I? He was on the way of our relationship, I’m the love of your life, not him. Am I wrong?—

—No, nothing like that, you’re my biggest mistake, you ruined my marriage and I allowed it, I don’t want to be linked to you in any way.—

—So you’re saying that all of these months together meant nothing to you?—

—Yes, my marriage lasted five years, I was happy with him but I couldn’t see it, with you I only went crazy and now i regret it, everything.—

—What sense does it have that you regret all of it now? He’s dead, his soul won’t come down from heaven to forgive you, he will spend his eternity despising you, and I will too if you don’t hide that damn body and leave in this instant.—

Jongin lowered his head and sighed, she was right but he wouldn’t leave him, not again.

He held on to his husband’s dead body, he could hear Jen yelling at him, but he decided to ignore her, maybe that way she’d leave him alone.

He changed his mind the moment he felt a cold pressure against his forehead.

She was aiming at him.

—Are you crazy? What is wrong with you?— He left Soo on the ground carefully, and started moving slowly, paying attention to every movement.

—I said we have to leave, get in the car and take that thing with you.— Jen said bitterly.

JongIn, with his heart in pain, he carried his husband’s body with care and followed her, but they couldn’t get too far due to the sound of police sirens near them.

They should have escaped earlier.

They tried to run but the police were faster than them.

**.**

**.**

**.**

They were now in the car on their way to be investigated, KyungSoo was in another unit on his way to the morgue.

His heart ached by thinking of it.

His body was full of impotence and rage, he couldn’t control himself, he felt like he was acting without thinking.

He regained conscience when he realized that the car had crashed.

He wasn’t wounded, he just had a few scratches, but the police took the worst part.

According to Jen’s testimony, he was the one who caused everything, and because of her he was sent to a psychiatric hospital.

He thought it was better than going to jail, she thought it was worse.

They were both terribly wrong.

As the days passed in that place, his mind started playing games on him.

He felt observed at night, sometimes he could see KyungSoo sitting in a corner, with black eyes on his body while blood slid from his head to his nape.

He tried to talk to him, but he received no answer.

He stood up slowly from the cushioned floor and stretched out his hand to reach him, but he vanished.

Desperately he searched for any other signal that indicated his presence in the room, feeling relieved when he saw him sitting in another part of the room.

He tried repeating the same action but he vanished again, what was happening?

He couldn’t be hallucinating, he was right there.

Sadness filled his body again and he trembled, we wanted to reach out again but he feared, he feared that he would leave again without forgiving him, he didn’t want to feel abandoned just like he did to him.

—You should have escaped...if you had you’d be alive now, you left me...and I can’t blame you for it. I’m sorry..i’m really sorry...please, forgive me!— He hid his head in between his hands, threw himself on the ground and started swaying his body slowly.

A few nurses heard him and came to calm him down since he could hurt himself.

—I’m really sorry, i’m sorry...—

That was all he could say.

Little by little, his condition started getting worse, getting to the point of self-isolation.

His days were full of agony, he was on all sorts of medication constantly, keeping him asleep or making him just stop “hallucinating”.

He didn’t like it.

And he couldn’t handle it anymore.

That’s why he decided to go with KyungSoo.

He planned it carefully, nothing could go wrong, he wrote a letter with his last words in a napkin and a pen left by a doctor, leaving it half-folded on the floor.

His last lunch was eaten in total loneliness.

He managed to obtain a knife from one impatient that was near his room, carefully, he cleaned it and, when all the lights were off, he whispered one final “sorry” before finding eternal peace.

The next morning he was found dead, with his letter next to the bloody floor and a small smile in his face.

The last line that his letter contained was:

_ "I made a big mistake, that’s why now I’m going after you, to give you the apology you deserve…” _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for getting to the end.
> 
> If by any chance you didn't like it it's okay, this is just and alternative ending, it's not really necessary for the main one.
> 
> Any type of comments and love are welcomed, my twitter is @KausAustralis15 (in case you want to interact).
> 
> Cosmic hugs for everybody and stay safe <3


End file.
